In a lake behind our house, my wife and I often see this swan and goose together. In fact, we see them together seemingly every time that we go for a walk. When we take an early walk, before it’s light outside, we frequently find this goose and swan sleeping side by side. We see them together so much that we joined them in one name: the Swoose.

Every time that I see them, it reminds me that different animals–different folks–can all get along. We just need to know that it’s possible. Then, it becomes reality.

–MY MONDAY MESSAGE–

“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”
~Theodore Roosevelt

A couple of weeks ago, I heard that a life-long friend of mine is fighting cancer. And he is a FIGHTER. In fact, I’ve talked to him a few times–after years of not being in contact much–and his words feel just as optimistic as he is.

Soon after his first round of chemotherapy, he sounded strong, powerful. That’s just who he is. He takes a positive attitude and turns his belief into action.

Perhaps surprisingly, talking with him makes me feel more like he is building me up than the reverse. I completely respect his strength and his resolve.

In the second grade, he and I–along with two other friends–made up a schoolyard football team that played every day at recess. It was just the four of us. If I recall correctly, we called ourselves “The Fantastic Four.” We’d take on any number of players on the other team, and we played tackle. Shh, don’t tell the teachers, because we were only supposed to play touch football. Really? Touch football? We didn’t think so.

As I recall, we never lost. We won because we played as a team. We worked together, and we all made each other play better.

As I think back over those years, I’m a better person because of these friends. I’m a better person now because of the strength that they gave me then, and that my cancer-fighting friend gives me now.

Thanks for giving me your strength, good friend. I hope that I can give you back just a fraction of what you have given me.

May your sun always rise.

–MY MONDAY MESSAGE–

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
~Colin Powell

When an obstacle looms ahead, focus on a path around it, not on the obstacle itself. If you ride a motorcycle or even bicycle, you’ll find that if you look at something in your path–say, a rock–you’ll tend to go right for it. It’s like that rock is a magnet that pulls you to it. So, do not look at it. Look where you want to go, and that’s right where your motorcycle or bicycle heads.

This thinking applies to life in general. If you want to get more fit, focus on a path that takes you there, not the obstacles that block you from fitness. If you want to improve a relationship, focus on ways to make it better, not all of the obstacles between you and a happy bond. If you want a more successful professional life, spend your energy aiming at solutions, not dwelling on problems.

Look where you want to go. Then turn your motion into an offensive attack on your objectives, not a dodging defense.

–MY MONDAY MESSAGE–

“Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.”
~Ann Landers

At the 2012 Austin Gorilla Run, a 5K run to benefit mountain gorillas, a crazy collection of runners came out to support the cause.

In nature, things often get broken down to make way for new growth. Woodpeckers, for example, hammer holes in this rotting tree in search of insects. This tree’s end, though, fuels growth in the forest. It provides homes for insects, food for woodpeckers and, slowly, it gives itself back to the forest floor to nourish the next generation of trees and other plants.

Likewise, people sometimes need to break down old things to build up new ones. Take nutrition as an example. Before you can see where you might improve what you eat, you need to know what you eat now. That might require breaking down your food intake over a few days–making a list of each morsel that you munch–to get an accurate picture of what you consume. Then, you can see how to make better food choices in the future, to build up your nutrition.

Likewise, starting a new exercise routine can make you feel broken before it makes you feel better. Those first few days, even weeks, of struggling, followed by soreness and strains can seem insurmountable. But remind yourself that it’s just the breaking down that comes before the building up in your mind and body.

So don’t get turned off by a little breaking down, it’s all part of the growth process.

–WORDS THE WEEK–

“Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points.”
~Knute Rockne

Getting on a plane yesterday, I slid into my aisle seat beside a man who appeared to be in his mid-30s, but I could only guess since tattoos covered his face. I’m not talking about a few face tattoos, but a complete graphical design from his chin, across both cheeks and even over the bridge of his nose. The older woman on the other side of this man seemed pressed to the window, as far from this man as she could get. She was probably relieved when the man pushed in earbuds, turned on his iTunes, pulled a hood over his head and bent his head down like he was praying.

This man’s music was so loud that I could hear the pulsing bass beat even when I had my earbuds in while watching a movie.

Partway through the movie–great news for me that it was Moneyball, one of my favorites–a flight attendant stopped at our row to offer beverages. When she asked if we’d like something, the tattoo-covered man raised his head, pulled out one earbud, and said, “Yes, ma’am.”

Wow, I thought. That’s not what I expected. He said ma’am.

He followed that with: “May I please have coffee with two sugars?” And he smiled. It was a great, friendly, warm smile.

Well, there you go, I thought to myself: Don’t develop expectations based on how someone looks. Although this guy seemed to terrify the woman sitting beside him, I started getting the feeling that he just might be one of the nicest people on the plane.

Later in the flight, he pulled off his hood and turned off his music as we were starting our descent. He leaned forward to see out the window and smiled. He turned to me and said, “I haven’t seen that in eight months.”

Instead, he’d spent the past eight months in Afghanistan, where he was a civilian contractor to the marines. He helped to modify their vehicles to improve the odds of survival after running over a mine. He’d be home for just two weeks, and then back to Afghanistan.

He mentioned loving the great things to do and places to eat in his hometown of Austin, Texas, where we were landing. So I asked him where he wanted to eat first.

“Home,” he said.

Well, welcome home, my friend. Enjoy your visit, come back safe soon and thanks so much for reminding me: Don’t judge.

Did you ever take the time to look closely at a flower? It’s a pretty amazing thing to see. There are seemingly endless details, incredibly delicate structures.

Many times when I take photographs, I find myself zooming in as close as I can get. Maybe I’m hoping to see something that everyone else missed. Maybe I just wonder if there’s something hidden that I really should see. Most likely of all, I just want to give enough time to really experience the image, to feel it.

I know that there’s always a bigger picture, some broad landscape in which a single flower would go almost unnoticed. But there are also lots of little things that make up the big ones, and I wonder about them all.

Take a closer look at something around you. At the very least, you might say, “Wow, that’s cool!”

–WORDS OF THE WEEK–

“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”
~William Morris

We all face scary things now and then. Sometimes, it’s just silly stuff, like a fake mummy, but fear can also be real. The question is: What do we do in the face of fear?

In high school, I pole vaulted, and I got scared during my senior year. I broke a few poles in just a couple weeks.

I broke one pole just practicing my plant, when you hit the far tip of the pole in a metal box buried in the ground. In the gym, I jogged toward a corner, gently planted my pole where the walls a floor come together, leaned into it a little and the bent pole snapped. The part still in my hands shot back like a pendulum and cracked me in the jaw, sending me sliding backward across the gym floor.

Not long after that, I broke a pole jumping outside. When a pole breaks, you usually do a backflip and–hopefully–land in the pit. It’s disorienting more than anything. Two fast breaks, though, broke down my confidence.

To pole vault, you can’t think about a pole breaking as you charge down the runway toward your plant. If you slow down at all, bad things can happen.

Not long after breaking two poles, I let the fear win on one vault, and I slowed down. As soon as I planted my pole, it felt wrong. Without the normal drive, I shot toward the right. I hit an upright–one of the metal poles that holds up the crossbar–and got my legs tangled in it at 12 feet or so off the ground, and not over the landing pit. Luckily, I held onto my pole, the upright broke and I just rode the pole back to the ground, completely unhurt … but more scared than ever.

The next week, I broke another pole. After that–three broken poles in a few weeks and one really bad and very edgy jump–I dreaded vaulting again.

But deep down, I loved pole vaulting. On a good day, it feels like flying. You shoot into the sky like a rocket, hang in the air for an instant and then plummet into a soft landing pit. It’s a rush, a great ride. It’s incredible!

After years of vaulting, I couldn’t let the fear win. So one day after breaking the third pole, I stood at the end of the runway in front of a hometown crowd. Using a new pole, one that I’d only tried a couple times, it all felt very sketchy.

“Push it away,” I whispered to myself as I closed my eyes for a few seconds. “Push it far away.”

When I opened my eyes, I could only see the end of the runway and nothing between it and me. I didn’t hear anything, except my inner voice saying, “Fast, fast, fast.”

So I pushed to do just one thing: Run fast. I planted my pole at full speed. That new pole bent deeply and then catapulted me high into the air.

From then on, I realized that fear can never win if we face if down and keep pushing it away.

–WORDS OF THE WEEK–

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear–not absence of fear.”
~Mark Twain

During the holiday season, all of the hustle and bustle can take over and you forget one of the most important things: Take in your surroundings. Look at all of the great things going on just in front of you.

Our golden retriever, Sandy, doesn’t need much to be happy. Even when she has a few of her favorite toys in front of her, she checks out the rest of the room.

She always pays attention to her surroundings, like she never misses anything.

Don’t let the important parts of the holidays–time with friends and family, a niece’s smile, a warm hug–go unnoticed. Enjoy every moment! You might not get to relive them all again in person, but you can always relive them in your mind.

–WORDS OF THE WEEK–

“Love the giver more than the gift.”
~Brigham Young

A little icing on a cake goes a long way in making something spectacular. It tastes good, but it can also look good. Now, if you happen to be icing some really cool structures–like the gingerbread village above–then you can really crank up the creativity.

Around the holidays, it’s easy to find some cool gingerbread houses. The amount of detail tells you, at least gives you an idea, of how much time it took to make some of them. Those details also reflect some of the love that lies behind the process.

Sometimes, though, we forget that creativity covers a lot of ground. Maybe you bake and decorate cakes. You could play an instrument or sign. You could garden. Maybe you make things from wood, like these little, working pliers that I carved from a single, solid piece.

Whatever heats up your creative fire, stoke it now and then. You’ll appreciate the creativity around you more, and you’ll feel more alive inside.

What’s your favorite way to put your creativity to work?

–WORDS OF THE WEEK–

“Creativity takes courage.”
~Henri Matisse